The Dead-end Up Here

Whether in a church, a temple or in your quiet corner, you do pray. Either to a god, a power or just wishing for something or something to happen. Have you thought about what you are praying for? An object like a car, a house, a wealth or a mate? Or a concept like peace and love? There is something in common to all prayers and that is to make you happy. Imagine you got the object you are hoping for but it didn't make you happy. Was that what you wanted? May your prayers be answered and you be happy. May be your prayers are answered and you find that there is no you. That will be the ultimate gift since without a you, there can be no desire.

I have heard this word and read about this reality for ages. I still don't understand it and probably never will since all my understanding is based on some knowledge acquired from other people, things, books and media. Nothing I am is original. I function by building concepts. So here is an experiment I did and encourage you to do as well to define your own concept of reality. This is inspired by Rupert Spira's works but I am a total fake anyway, everything I am is from someone else including my genes. There is a poem on this in the book, "the dead-end (up) here". Close your eyes and try to shut everything down. What is really there? Really there? I (an instrument I seem to know) find something that is named touch, something vague named smell, another sensation which is called sound. Even though the eyes are closed, there is a hue of something called light and completely invisible stuff going on called thoughts and imagination. Important ...

Did you see the star trek episode when the computer blows up screaming; error, error, error! when capt Kirk inputs an unanswerable koan? The real question now is who is planning to blow my mind up? Ramana is long gone and as far as I can tell my mind doesn't have a death wish? Perhaps it still carries the underlying desire to transcend the pain and suffering by blowing itself up. But we know better, as Bart Marshall said it once, "you can't game this, believe me I tried for decades". And check out gary's poem below, when he says " Lack of effort opens the gate for a flood of insights. * That which is changeless knows nothing." We really need to convince us not to ask this irreconcilable question.... Musings by Gary Harmon Emptiness filled with clanging, And dogs that bark in the distance. Winds that gently blow, Trees that sway to and fro, Are all connected. As am I joined to them. Nothing causing anything; All in agreement with all. * Turning eart...

For years, even decades I saw no reason to pay attention to spirituality even though I come from a highly spiritual family, country and culture. The individual and animal need to win and "succeed" is all that this body mind complex seemed to want. I came across many who tried to convince me to pay attention to the other side but I asked, why bother? You  may be asking the same. Let me try to answer this without the sales job of a door to door preacher. In fact, there is no reason you should bother either. I hope things go so well for you like it does for a small fraction of humanity that you need not bother. This call from the inside seems to come particularly when one isn't able to keep up with the demands of this maya world and to what she calls "success". The first reaction of the animal body and mind complex, just like my cat when he is not allowed to go out, is to find another way. Keep trying; go around the wall, fool the detractors, win win win ....

Well, not really. If you fully understand the nature of your life you know that everything including what you may consider to be you is ephemeral. It is possible that there is something more or less than what you know but since you do not know it now, it's unlikely you would ever know. It will all change and eventually perish. In fact the conventional wisdom of your body being the only thing that perishes may be wrong. Instead, something of your body will remain but in a different form. Nearly all of it will simply change and reincarnate onto a flower, another life or simply dust. But you as a person or spirit whatever you wish to identify yourself as, will disappear. To that who is asking the pointed question there is really no point in the quest. Particularly if you have been paying attention during your journey and finding that perishable is the nature of things. It is impossible to have something without nothing. So here we are living as a thing but nearly all the heav...

In a boat, in the middle of the sea Without a compass, without a key. Night is dark, clouds are thick Afraid of something, don’t know which. Many clues tell me life is fake, Just hope not, for my sanity’s sake. She said she loved me Until he got a BMer and ‘twas a new game To the babe I was a hero, true and strong Until he found true love, alas not for long. For dad, I could do no wrong Until picked up a guitar and did some bhang. I worked so hard, aced all the tests Valedictorian,  top of the class. Couldn’t find a job To even cover my ass. Towed the company party line Had it tattoed on my behind. Until one day my mentor was fired New party line I could not find. Looked in the mirror  What was bitter sweet. That I couldn’t recognize self If found in the street. What is this place, Whose are the faces I think I know, clueless I am not. (c) Copyright Protected by Author, 2010

Shikari Ayega, Jal bithayega, Dana Dalega Jaal men fusnan mutt. (The trapper will come, lay down his net will sprinkle some seeds. O parrots, don't just sing these verses But don't go near the net.) Bhains ke age been bajaye Bhains kare pagurai (Play the sitar in front of the buffalo she continues to chew the cud.) Pothi padh padh padh jag mua Pandit bhaiya na koi Dhai akshar prem ka padhe so pandit hoi. (Kabir) (World studied the books well but no one became a Pundit One who really studied a two and a half letter word "love" did become the Pundit.) Dukh men sumiran sub karei Sukh men kare na koi Jo sukh men sumiran karei Dukh kahe ko hoi. (Kabir) (When in trouble you recall God In happy times no one does One who recalls God in good times Why would trouble fall on him?)

Walking tip toe on the grounds Covered in egg shells Running wildly around the track Like streaming bats out of hell. Something is missing But no one is missing Somehow is missing But no where is missing. The spark of the first touch Euphoria of the rush Smell of the flowers Breeze through the gentle bush. So, touch and feel harder Run around faster Visit bigger gardens Drive on to woods larger. Still there is no action Nerves have deadened Nothing seems new Heart has hardened. First love was easily defined For there was nothing to compare Love you was easier spoken For there was nothing to fear. Was it love or flesh Can’t tell the difference What it felt like was good Even if it was utter nonsense. Is there such a love The answer alas is no, no and no What one seeks is not of this world All here will one day go. (c) Copyright Protected by Author, 2010

"WAKE UP (The scream I can not hear)" Since time immemorial, I am trying to wake you up but you don’t. Not complaining, for such is not my nature; mine is to wake you up. Not frustrated for I can’t be, just know that I have to wake you up. I put melody in bird’s chirping, coolness in the summer breeze, Burning heat in midday sun and deafening noise in monsoon thunder To just do one thing, wake you up. Spark in your first kiss, comfort in mother’s embrace, Rush in your home run and the musky flavor in lobster bisque, I did it all to do just one thing, wake you up. Desire to own, taste, destroy, love and hate, I placed so you’d WANT to wake up. Also put the fear in you So you’d keep on desiring all and to wake up. I made life beautiful, So you can love the beauty and wake up. I made it miserable So you will hate the misery and wake up. Now I think it is time you woke up. Don’t argue about genetics, Darwin , evolution and creation. I made them so, d...

My thoughts are infinite, they range from the mundane to the entire universe including all known, imagined and unimagined. The only difference between what I immediately see, feel, touch or hear and all I can think about is that this feels “real” (although I am not sure what reality is, it has to be more than a convention) and the others are in my head, so to speak, although that too is conjecture. Someone told me or I read it somewhere that the thoughts are in my head, they could be in thin air but they are not material things. If for the moment I dwell in my thoughts and assume that I am not what I can physically sense but all I can think of, then really there is no difference between You and I and Him. For I can think all You can and if I can’t You will tell me and then I can. So in other words, if we can make the world of thoughts real, we are all one. We can even extend this to all beings, all matter and everything in the cosmos. I feel constrained and presumptuous in claiming ...

BODHGAYA: THE OASIS OF PEACE              Sitting in the middle of nowhere This unlikely town of peace Where a young monk abandoning all Found the truth meant for One. Sure there are enormous temples Giant statues and numerous trinkets Cute children dressed as monks Colorful garbs are but a distraction Not unlike any other pilgrimage There are thousands prostrating Praying and chanting Names and slokas of the One But peace is everywhere For the intent is clear No one here has a different purpose We all want but just One. Find a corner of peace They are everywhere There is the Japanese temple Where sharing quiet moments Of meditation, contemplation comes easy. With no one but two sparrows who call it home A  silent retreat like no other. The humble monk recognizes you as One Then he chants with force and vigor Vibrating with the banging drum in rhythm You almost understand Japanese. Of course there is the central pla...