The Dead-end Up Here

Nonduality or advaita can be quite confusing. How can there be just the one when I can clearly see there is this body and mind and there is the world full of things and other minds and bodies? How can I know there is just the one if I am not the one? My proposition is that there indeed appears duality but both of these, I and the world are made up stories. Some call the world an illusion or Maya, but accepting I as an illusion requires work. Watch a newborn. You can see the curiosity in its eyes. This is not God looking out of the eyes but the body and mind receiving sensations from the world which it tries to understand. With help from parents, friends and objects, the baby starts to identify the world as colour, shapes, sounds, taste and touch. As its abilities mature it also starts to see its own body and  the mind as another object, part of the other or the world. In the depth of stillness like deep sleep or Samadhi, something still remains. Mind can't get this but c...

Literally it is the attraction between a human, the only species that has this word, and other beings, matter and thoughts which include concepts, ideas and imagination. But this word is so heavy in its impressions. It is the reason for much anguish, for so many conflicts and heartaches. Attraction between two objects is at the heart of all creation. Gravity makes earth go around the sun, stars around black holes and galaxies in spirals. Gravitational attraction keeps the entire universe from flying apart at much faster speed and instantly vanish into the original void it apparently came from. Attraction keeps particles bound in specific orbits that make the infinitesimal to macro; molecules, cells, rocks and trees. This attraction is innate in all living beings. It's this attraction that makes all living things seek company of other living things. Even though a lion kills for food, he only takes what it needs. Only one animal actually hates as well as loves. And that is t...

A sufi master, Dr. Syed Hussein Nasr during the 2013 festival of faiths in Louisville said why is it that horses do not overeat nor do most animals, but we do? Even after your belly is full, the craving for the next tasty morsel persists. Even after you can barely see, you want another drink. It doesn't take long before your heart is after another lover.  His answer was that something propels us to want everything, the point he made was that within us  is a desire for the infinite. Where does this desire for the infinite come from? Surely it can't be the organs like a mouth, a stomach or even our sexual body- none of these have a will. They serve a bigger master. Is it the brain or its representative, the mind? When we look we find no mind, no brain, just thoughts coming and going like wisps of clouds; sometimes arbitrary and other times evolved out of a stimulus. For a moment just imagine an engine behind all desires in the world incl...

As a four year old, I attended a satsang with my grand uncle who was practicing pratyahara by abandoning all usual domestic life and wandered small villages of mithila giving words of wisdom to whomever would listen. Unfortunately, 7 pm was about the end of the day for me and I pretty much fell asleep in the wonderful ambiance his presence along with candles, incense and flowers had created. All I remember is his first word which was samsara and a memory of deep peace. I asked older folks later what he meant and they told me the world. It has taken me sixty years to really understand the vastness of the word and what world he was talking about. I have spent pretty much rest of my life to try and find simplicity in teachings which mostly confuse me even now. So when Mooji says look, I find mostly noise confounding most of my senses. So I close my eyes and the loudest noise from photons disappear. What remains when I sit for a while is a vast ocean of quiet and peace with frequent d...

Why not just disappear? Take a look, a close look Are you really needed in whatever That fills your day, good and bad That makes you happy and sad? It's not a magic trick You disappear every day When you lay down to sleep When you are engrossed in tv. Are you there when you fall in love With a person, an object or an idea? Are you there when you are passionately angry or happy? Why bother showing up When all you find is suffering With an occasional smattering Of relief. Just disappear into the space always there when you close your eyes Beckoning you to spend time In solitude, reverie and meditation. Just disappear into a place So familiar it feels home. So vast, there is no end Nor beginning, just calm. Disappear to whatever aches you To unwanted arguments, Useless future plans Or past hangovers. Disappear into the background Like a tree, the cloud and the earth. Just being there to serve all That deserve your molecules.

Putrid is the smell where I was born Filthy is the pond Where I took the first sip. Where cows defecated Buffalo played and frogs frolicked Beasts used it as a playground Humans use as a dumping hole. From where the grass Looked greener outside. A home that looked Dark and murky. Then I saw the light from a blazing sun cutting through layers of filth it reached my innards. I opened my eyes looked for nectar in the crud little by little I drank the wine. Little by little I blossomed and got stronger to raise my head above the grime until blue sky and clean breath. Now all I see is love of shining treasures beauty beyond  occasionally the filth I left behind .

Words lead you astray. Unfortunately you have to use words to understand words or so it seems. More words make words even more confusing. Many teachers point you to presence awareness, the power of now, nothing but now. What they are pointing to is not a presence of something but absence of everything.  Peace and stillness or nirvana is  a state of absence not presence. What gurus point to is the presence of absence. What they point to is an absence of teaching, teachers, gurus and of course suffering.

Even  incomplete physics by Newton has allowed humanity to reach Mars and beyond. Even a dissatisfied Einstein's theory of special and general relativity has exploded into mind altering technologies and information beyond imagination of our ancestors. Imagine humanity when even better and perhaps complete understanding of physics arrives. Even an incomplete understanding of yoga and meditation has led millions of people to end or at least  limit suffering in their lives. Numerous credible studies support better health, better psyche and better life for the practitioners. Imagine you when even better and perhaps complete understanding arrives. Why does incomplete understanding still produce results?  Because it is just incomplete not wrong. It is still an understanding.

There comes a point on the path when you know that you are not living the truth. You know the truth, a truth, some truth or have a sense of the truth. But you also know that you are not living it. The very attempt of trying to live the truth will take you to the realm of untrue for what we call living is here in   and around a world of lies, deceptions and illusions. Living here can never be true. Only not living here can be true. It may seem that great sages, teachers, mahatmas and enlightened masters live the truth. But if you can see this or sense this, it is already untrue. They are the shining example of the truth. They are but pointers and evidence of the truth. You may and should follow them but that will still not be living the truth. It may be commendable, wonderful and desirable but not the truth. The great paradox as put by Richard Rose is that you can only be the truth and no more. Mooji asks who is it that is going to live the truth? So why know t...

The answer is not why not. There is an answer to every why. Look carefully and you will find the answer. Post here if you are stuck.

A common self inquiry technique is to contemplate the question, who am I? Ideally we should ask, is there an I since the mind gets a biased view if you ask who am I. It implies there must be an I if I am searching for one. But before we go there, you must cross the biggest hurdle of all and that is upto now, you have a strong belief that you are the body. You feed it, groom it, use it to own stuff you call yours and love it as the dearest object in the universe. Very hard to let go of this notion. Here is a thought experiment that helped me. Imagine a macabre situation where you are in a serious accident and the doctor has to amputate nearly all your limbs and you become blind as well. You wake up and have no idea of what happened. Your brain still functions and as far as you know all your limbs are intact albeit as ghost limbs. Your doctor gives you the bad news that you no longer have a body. You feel totally you in your mind but have no body. The entire concept of you as a body t...

Loving kindness is not a charitable act or a meditation prescribed by the Buddha as a way to rid the world of evil and suffering. IT IS A SELFISH ACT. You or I can not be anything but selfish. You and I are not capable of charity. Self can not be selfless. To recommend a self to be unselfish and charitable to all sentient beings is ridiculous, an oxymoron. It is impossible. Every cell in my body, every thought, every act is aimed at the self. Buddha, the wisdom personified could not make such a mistake asking you to do a selfless act. His words have not been properly understood. LOVING KINDNESS IS NOT A PRAYER BUT AN ERNEST DESIRE. By practicing loving kindness, you are not trying to end suffering of others, of all sentient beings even though you may say so in your meditation. YOU ARE TRYING TO END YOUR SUFFERING. A self can not cease suffering unless it feels only love and kindness to ALL beings and perhaps beyond. To feel anything but love and kindness towards all means r...

What is the purpose of life? Why do we do what we do? What is the program, today, this week, this year, rest of your life or even this second? Is there a theme? Every cell, every living being is programmed to seek happiness, joy, bliss and love. Even the most difficult pain and suffering is for love . But it is in search of this love, the essential purpose of all life, something happens. From birth, we seek and relish love and joy, often through a complicated chemical process designed in the body and it's brain. Craving for more, the brain embarks on storing these experiences through its detectors or our senses as memory. That memory becomes thinking. We lose the child like process of instantaneous joy and start using logical faculty of the brain to recreate, repeat and seek love in ever more complex methods. This diluted love never equals in purity and intensity to the first love. Until we embark on the direct path to love. That direct path is through eliminati...

Descended from heavens among the stars and the sky With all heavenly attributes of Peace, beauty and perfection. Suddenly there it comes The need to compare, to exceed Desire to excel and penchant  to win. All that remains of my heritage Is a faint wistful memory. A sense that something is missing That  once  was  mine. The terrible loss leaves me cold Anger  takes hold, frustration anchors in me Punishes me for that step I took out of heaven into hell. This same step I take every day Every moment and with every thought. I have become so good at this Deluded to the core. Intent was to make it better Make heaven more heavenly But how do you improve Perfection? Answer, You do not. You ruin it. And I did Creating in the process The hell I inhabit. It is not too late Never too late. It is just a few steps back To leave hell behind. To see the fear as toothless Greed unable to please All seeming pleasur...

For years, even decades I saw no reason to pay attention to spirituality even though I come from a highly spiritual family, country and culture. The individual and animal need to win and "succeed" is all that this body mind complex seemed to want. I came across many who tried to convince me to pay attention to the other side but I asked, why bother? You  may be asking the same. Let me try to answer this without the sales job of a door to door preacher. In fact, there is no reason you should bother either. I hope things go so well for you like it does for a small fraction of humanity that you need not bother. This call from the inside seems to come particularly when one isn't able to keep up with the demands of this maya world and to what she calls "success". The first reaction of the animal body and mind complex, just like my cat when he is not allowed to go out, is to find another way. Keep trying; go around the wall, fool the detractors, win win win ....

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