The Dead-end Up Here

Descended from heavens among the stars and the sky With all heavenly attributes of Peace, beauty and perfection. Suddenly there it comes The need to compare, to exceed Desire to excel and penchant  to win. All that remains of my heritage Is a faint wistful memory. A sense that something is missing That  once  was  mine. The terrible loss leaves me cold Anger  takes hold, frustration anchors in me Punishes me for that step I took out of heaven into hell. This same step I take every day Every moment and with every thought. I have become so good at this Deluded to the core. Intent was to make it better Make heaven more heavenly But how do you improve Perfection? Answer, You do not. You ruin it. And I did Creating in the process The hell I inhabit. It is not too late Never too late. It is just a few steps back To leave hell behind. To see the fear as toothless Greed unable to please All seeming pleasur...

Do you know how hard it is to stand, run and do yoga on two feet ? to climb a mountain , to ride a bike to do ballet and to simply stand? Do you know how amazing it is to know thousands of names millions of images , billions of words trillions of subtle feelings ? And even more, do you know how incredibly complex it is to recall any of the above in an instant? You can do all this, I can do all this we can all do all this. Yet we want more. Why? It's a war we waged on nature, on time on creation to conquer adversity . the goal? to do all of the above impossible feats? alas the winding is too tight we are still fighting just can't stop this runaway train. once in a while One goes up to the mountain top and screams out real loud " You Have Already Won ". But we are still fighting. sit still for a while and listen to the message the song, the love from the One .

On the eve of Guru Purnima, an ancient celebration of the guiding light also called the guru that leads one out of suffering. How to celebrate? There is only one action required; SURRENDER! Do you really know what that means and entails? Surrender means to give up the desire to win. You may even feel that you have lost. That is okay. Giving up the desire to win is absolutely the most difficult thing you would ever do. EVERYTHING in the physical universe is and continues to be wired to win. You won't be here trying to surrender if this was not so. That is the paradox. WINNING TAKES YOU TO A PLACE WHERE YOU MUST SURRENDER AND LOSE. May the guiding light make you lose and surrender.

Happy birthday to me, you and you For we were all born the same instant Some fourteen billion years ago In a sky entirely nonexistent. Like you, I was but a tiny string Of energy, oscillating, resonating. Pushed by a colossal force Of unimaginable strength Forever outward bound into oblivion Into a destiny unknown With but just one instruction Love! Love I did, love I do Finding kindred sizes and shapes. I hugged you hard, squishing your bones Until we turned into one. One body, one soul. Body I know, soul I do not. Incarnated into rocks and energy Water and gases filling the universe Still following my only directive Go, keep going, go with love. Oops, I said Accidentally spilling some carbon into water Nitrogen into hydrogen and to amino acid. Totally unintentional Creating the building block Of a true change to creation. Sorry I said to whomever Intended me to do nothing Or do something else Sorry, I gave life to life. My present body still ...

Did you see the star trek episode when the computer blows up screaming; error, error, error! when capt Kirk inputs an unanswerable koan? The real question now is who is planning to blow my mind up? Ramana is long gone and as far as I can tell my mind doesn't have a death wish? Perhaps it still carries the underlying desire to transcend the pain and suffering by blowing itself up. But we know better, as Bart Marshall said it once, "you can't game this, believe me I tried for decades". And check out gary's poem below, when he says " Lack of effort opens the gate for a flood of insights. * That which is changeless knows nothing." We really need to convince us not to ask this irreconcilable question.... Musings by Gary Harmon Emptiness filled with clanging, And dogs that bark in the distance. Winds that gently blow, Trees that sway to and fro, Are all connected. As am I joined to them. Nothing causing anything; All in agreement with all. * Turning eart...

Is there any hope that this question can actually be answered? Who is asking this question? Is it an impostor asking itself if it is an impostor? Remember that koan; asking a liar if he is telling the truth? The question is a mind buster designed by Ramana Maharishi to just do that. All you can really hope for is eventually or now understand that. Cest ca cest tous.

For years, even decades I saw no reason to pay attention to spirituality even though I come from a highly spiritual family, country and culture. The individual and animal need to win and "succeed" is all that this body mind complex seemed to want. I came across many who tried to convince me to pay attention to the other side but I asked, why bother? You  may be asking the same. Let me try to answer this without the sales job of a door to door preacher. In fact, there is no reason you should bother either. I hope things go so well for you like it does for a small fraction of humanity that you need not bother. This call from the inside seems to come particularly when one isn't able to keep up with the demands of this maya world and to what she calls "success". The first reaction of the animal body and mind complex, just like my cat when he is not allowed to go out, is to find another way. Keep trying; go around the wall, fool the detractors, win win win ....