EGONORANCE

Ego is ignorance. 

Last weekend I spent some time at a nearby zen centre, the retreat by the way was incredibly authentic and perhaps transformative for some. One of the things you have to do, like in Karate Kid, is chores. Not hours but just 15 minutes. They were kind to me and assigned me dusting. I don’t remember doing that, never during my bachelor years (neither did any one I know) and after that my wife handled that somehow. I do recall painting the outside windows once. Any way, I digress. 


So I did an okay job but the effect it had on me was unbelievable. I reacted to it emotionally as if I had been insulted. I sat with that feeling during my next sit and quite clearly see that most of my egoic acts have been due to ignorance about the micro or macro of the situation. Either I had read the situation completely wrong at the first or second derivative level. And this was true of the dusting incident here but pretty much everything I could recall. 


I named this EGONORANCE . Now there is an issue here that may throw a monkey bar  and that is whether it is an inflated ego or a deflated ego problem. Normally when we say someone is egoic, it’s implied inflated ego. But the question to which I have no current answer is whether deflated ego like people suffering from depression etc., may also, upon critical contemplation find that much ignorance about true nature of reality was at the base of it.  


Anyway, worth pondering.

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