Who, What, Why, Where and When am I?

All wrong questions! Well, perhaps not wrong questions but not that difficult to answer literally, particularly if you are defined by what you know. The paradox is there is no other way to answer the question but be based on what you know. None the less it is a fascinating question. Meditate on it.

MY MEDITATIONS

I did and came up with this. I, as I know it was actually born of external input. Initially in my mom's comfortable womb, I was serene in deep sleep and in fact was really nonexistent. Not aware, therefor no I. There was this lump of matter evolved over billions of years into a sophisticated set of instruments or five incredible senses to detect and decipher the material world plus don't know how many other senses with how much potentialities yet to come. The matter around me, some with intelligence and some just inorganics reflecting coloured lights and natural sounds started to be detected by this lump of matter growing rapidly into an ultimate machine nature has developed. The lump (or baby me) also had endowed a brain to protect itself from hostile matter all around it to serve the only program it came with; survival of the species. Fast forward a few decades and what you have is I with all of the W5 explained. Any questions?

I know, you will ask but what about this intelligence you have, this feeling you possess. I am afraid all of that is part of the natural evolution. If there is something unexplained, just give it time, it will be explained to you or your descendants. You are not a mystery!

After you have accepted this (or surrendered your curiosity of who you are) things start to unravel. You, because of this unbelievable natural evolution also posess the ability to sense what it is that your sensory body encapsulates. What is this entire creation? You will realise that you are still in deep sleep, the place you started in mummy's tummy. The external stimuli detected by your fancy senses created a world out of these signals and put a person at the centre of it.  In your deep slumber you adopted this person as you.

Don't believe me. Ask Shiva the creator and destroyer. He uttered it in 101 phrases back few thousand years ago. I could ask you to wake up but you really can't without destroying this creation you have built, just as Shiva when he wakes.

AN ALIEN?

Often I think and feel that I am an alien in a body with human desires, aspirations, abhors and history, all dictated by other humans. I can really relate to some of those UFO stories where the guy feels he was taken aboard a ship and examined. Unfortunately I have not had any such experience, I just feel that this is all made up of sand and imaginary stuff.

Let me try to explain further. I could accept what many suggest that I am a product of my environment, my parents, my friends and lovers. In a way that would be true but I really have molded this package which you see before you based on some pretty personal set of wants which may or,may not have been independent.  For instance I don't know why I loved sweets more than savory when I was young. Many do but my parents didn't and neither do my siblings. When I look around the food habit of many of friends and family could not entirely be explained by the environment. Somebody in here decided that he liked sweets pretty early on and gave me sweet tooth. May be biologists will come up with some explanation about my particular gene being randomly different making me like sweets. But there are thousands of  things that I have decided to do over  my ife which can hardly all be explained by biology. There is some one inside me making these decisions and shaping my persona.

I am told I was born and remember subsequent seeing, hearing, touching and smelling things, feelings in general. But I do not have a precise memory of the sight or smell or voices, I basically make them up from bits and pieces. True, some things like smell are more precise. But what is very hard and concrete is that when I go back to those memories, I am sure I was there. There is no doubt at all. There are doubts about what I saw, heard or even smelt.

>I project myself in the future and I vaguely make up scenes where I shall be including my death. All such images or imaginations are for concocted but I will surely be there.

>What is now is real? No doubt about that. It is here and I can verify with all my senses. What was or will be are just images and hence imagination. Is an image or imagination real?

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