The Dead-end Up Here: A Pebble in Stillness

Monday, April 10, 2023

A Pebble in Stillness

Looking for a gold brick
Under the bed, in the closet
But I know I know for sure
I have no gold anywhere.

I keep looking
For happiness everywhere
Glimpses I get as love
As beauty as serenity.

Just have to look harder
Smarter deeper and wider

Within and without
I know I know its there.

Happy I am when in love
Happy I am in beauty
In kindness and in peace
In deep sleep when I is absent.

Objects come and go
But their subtle sensation
Lingers me happy as me.
I know I know its there.

I confuse what body wants
As my only desire
Not for what it is
A pebble in stillness.

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Lineage

I am a descendant of the great sage Kashyap.

Here is one of his poems.

Undisturbed am I, undisturbed is my soul,
undisturbed mine eye, undisturbed mine ear,
undisturbed is mine in-breathing, undisturbed mine out-breathing,
undisturbed my diffusive breath, undisturbed the whole of me.

Thereafter rose Desire in the beginning, Desire the primal seed and germ of Spirit,
O Kama dwelling with the lofty Kama, give growth of riches to the sacrificer, (...)
Prolific, thousand eyed, and undecaying, a horse with seven reins Time bears us onward,
Sages inspired with holy knowledge mount him, his chariot wheels are all the worlds of creatures.

Kala [Time] created yonder heaven, and Kala made these realms of earth,
By Kala, stirred to motion, both what is and what shall be, expand, (...)
Kala created living things and first of all Prajapati,
From Kala self-made Kasyapa, from Kala Holy Fire was born.

— Atharvaveda, Book XIX, Hymns L51-53^[7]^[20]

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"The Dead-end(Up) Here" is a book of Celestial Songs of Love...

Round and round I go

Looking for you

All I find are

Dead-ends here.

My chakras dancing

My breathing fierce

My heart is leaping

Spine trembling.

This is something to expect

Guides had said

Know it

Death ends here.

There is no death, I sort of get it

It’s faith, not realization.

More semantics than truth

Clever dialogue, not deep insight.

Not body nor mind am I

How could I die

It is the body that perishes

I dwell in continuous freedom.

I love the idea

Of living forever

That too without

The source of all pain.

Body was great once

Pleasures abound

Love was grand

Ecstasy divine.

Mostly aches and groans now

Unfulfilled desires

Of a mind

That never ages.

“Beyond mind beyond death”

A cry that launched my search

Years have gone by

I find only dead-ends here.

I am over the hump

Unfulfilled ambitions sting no more.

No cold sweaty nights

Heart breaks are rare as aspirations

diminish.

They call it maturity

Spirituality or awakening

Still, thy screams I do not hear

Shiva I do not see.

I call it the end

End of Buddha’s suffering

End of useless search

The dead end up here.

Resonate with the author as he takes you on life journey which is full at times and empty at other, always seeking “happiness” that will last, a bliss that endures and a love that is unconditional. But as most seekers, he too reaches a dead-end. Then you realise what Shiva said in one of his soma rush laden moments, the dead end up here.

We all have such moments but some have the inspiration and skills to put them down as poetry. As one reader put it, “…and I found myself getting lost between the lines and imagining this little fantasy tale. It seemed to hold many truths within it and I think this is a piece many will enjoy and relate to.”

This book is a story disguised as poetry.

First a journey of spiritual seeking, a popular reaction to those days with no hope, no love, no life satisfaction. On this journey he does find some divine, blissful love in the form of beautiful, compassionate and loving people. Oh, how fireworks ensue in climactic poetry, describing the heartache that simply is. Lessons learned from the other side of pleasure are priceless but bliss endures.

As the book unfolds, we quickly realize there is no elegant conclusion to this poem-filled love story of divine intervention, just as there is none to life. You will either fall in love, fall in desire, or achieve some temporary yearning to feel what the author once felt. It is better to have loved like this; that which truly transforms human experience forever.

Why the blog title?

Patanjali, well known seminal author of yoga guide for all practitioners, defines yoga as "chitta vritti nirodhuh" meaning "cessation of mental formations."

This could also be expressed as the dead (one who has ceased mental formations) end up, here (now).

Bhagwat Gita, is a satsang between an undefeated warrior, Arjuna with his charioteer, friend and teacher, Krishna in the middle of an epic battle. Gita's lessons of how to conduct oneself while arrows and spears fly past you and still maintain a meditative calm are as good today as thousands of years ago.

Krishna could have taught his long time friend much earlier but chose to do so only when Arjun came to a "dead end" at the battle front (up here and now). Teachings work only when the student reaches the dead-end.

The Dead-end Up Here

Monday, April 10, 2023

A Pebble in Stillness

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NIRVANA

Why the blog title?

RAW AND VULNERABLE