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Friday, February 22, 2013

Bliss, the search for a spiritual orgasm.

I am very tired of me looking for that blissful state many arrived gurus and pretenders talk about. Kundalini masters wax and wane on the drug less highs. I am tired because I want it too, just like the only thing I ever wanted as a teenager was sex.

Then I started questioning how do these experienced masters describe this wow feeling. First of all I do not have any reference of this bliss by Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Nisargdatta or Ramana. Unless you want to reinterpret their words and see what isn't there. I am not being disrespectful to those who report of wild orgy like states, I call the feeling, spiritual  orgasm. But I have only two choices at this point either keep pining for this like a prepubescent boy or try to explain why some get it others do not.

Do you recall any of your childhood ecstasies? Like the first time your bike and you actually stayed up, or the first time your hand brushed against a girl, any body part, or some exotic food you had for the first time; mine was a white chocolate mousse made by a master chef in Bruxelles. I think neuroscientists will tell you that we become an expert by forgetting the novelty of things. That's why driving is nowhere as much fun as it was the first time, in spite of you popping the clutch until dad almost smacked you.

Many describe this spiritual orgasm to be a process of forgetting conditioning and going back to a child like state.  So it's not that you are not getting it. You are having an orgasm all the time, its just that you are paying no attention to it. But just know that it is yet another physical kick you are trying to get and has little to do with you finding god. It's yet another merry go around, be ecstatic, may be a few more times and then it's another experience and then it is over. How do you get close to feeling that first time biking experience? Don't do it for a few years. Getting back on the bike will feel so good.

Do you see now, why sensory deprivation like locking yourself in a cave or abstinence is part of the path? These are all mental gymnastics to make your blissful feeling come up from all the crap experiences and thoughts that clutter your mind. This is why yogis love shavasana; lie completely still after an intense yoga. Or like in one of poems ("don't take that step", check older posts), one move takes you out of heaven into hell. This is why mindfulness, a process of excluding all else but one experience works to bring you back home, back to your child like state. Go for it.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Just Because

Just because there is no me
This body is not so bad
The mind still thinks, works and feeds
The heart still loves, hates and cries.

Just because there is no me
Love is not absent
Your presence is not felt
My cat is not an orphan.

Just because there is no me
Tears don't drop
Emotions haven't dried up
Fear doesn't add spice to living.

Just because there is no me
Life still goes on
Hurt still goes on
Beauty is still felt grand.

I still love you
I still hurt
I still explode with anger
I still lie helpless.

Why, you ask?
Just because.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Awareness is not a noun

I often hear Gurus talk of awareness as a noun. I am awareness, you are awareness, god is awareness, awareness is all there is and so on. I am a little dense and nonexistent. As far as I know there is no me, I cant't find it. So if I am awareness, then awareness is not either. So no god, no me, no you.

What I need is my grade 9 English teacher. She would say, boy, awareness is not a noun. It is a quality. You can have awareness but can't be awareness. Now since I am not therefore something other than I or you has awareness. I and my existence is questionable but the existence of awareness is not. Close your eyes and you are aware of something. Touch something and you are aware.

All sentient beings are aware. In fact if rocks had a mind they will report that they are aware, especially when the water torture that shapes its looks begins. Sodium ions in water are aware of chloride  how else would they find each other to make common salt. And salty air is aware of the car or how else would make that rust bucket happen. May be, just may be awareness is what holds the planet together and the entire constellation circling each other in perpetuity.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Clara on the Universe

To summarise what Clara said, all that we consider as is, was or will be is just a potential universe in the mind of shiva. My interpretation, laws of physics determine the entire outcome of evolution from energy to whatever will come and back. In that one point infinity, there is evolution of mind which ends up understanding some of these things.

.Laws of physics are our attempt to understand nature and the universe as we know it through experience such as thinking, imagining, feeling and touching and hearing. It could be un-quantum but the observer, i.e this body mind is limited and hence the universe, the only one we know is limited. The incomprehensible reality is just incomprehensible. It is not the reality we find by our senses. A quantum theory could be a reflection of this incomprehensible reality but that's all it can be otherwise it wont be incomprehensible. In fact all comprehensible reality includes all but the incomprehensible reality.

Are all outcomes supposed to be quantum? in my estimate of shiva's reality, all outcome are included and predetermined. i haven't done the math but i suspect this is why some come up with these multiverse results. the incomprehensible reality includes all outcomes, the most remote ones as well. only one of those outcomes is this observer hence has such a limited view of the past, present and future on a fabricated axis called time.

Fear of death

Some suggest that all suffering results from this underlying fear, reaction to even a stubbed toe is manifestation of fear of death albeit...