The Golden Orb of Love

I am very tired of me looking for that blissful state many arrived gurus and pretenders talk about. Kundalini masters wax and wane on the drug less highs. I am tired because I want it too, just like the only thing I ever wanted as a teenager was sex. Then I started questioning how do these experienced masters describe this wow feeling. First of all I do not have any reference of this bliss by Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Nisargdatta or Ramana. Unless you want to reinterpret their words and see what isn't there. I am not being disrespectful to those who report of wild orgy like states, I call the feeling, spiritual  orgasm. But I have only two choices at this point either keep pining for this like a prepubescent boy or try to explain why some get it others do not. Do you recall any of your childhood ecstasies? Like the first time your bike and you actually stayed up, or the first time your hand brushed against a girl, any body part, or some exotic food you had for the first time; m

Just because there is no me This body is not so bad The mind still thinks, works and feeds The heart still loves, hates and cries. Just because there is no me Love is not absent Your presence is not felt My cat is not an orphan. Just because there is no me Tears don't drop Emotions haven't dried up Fear doesn't add spice to living. Just because there is no me Life still goes on Hurt still goes on Beauty is still felt grand. I still love you I still hurt I still explode with anger I still lie helpless. Why, you ask? Just because.

I often hear Gurus talk of awareness as a noun. I am awareness, you are awareness, god is awareness, awareness is all there is and so on. I am a little dense and nonexistent. As far as I know there is no me, I cant't find it. So if I am awareness, then awareness is not either. So no god, no me, no you. What I need is my grade 9 English teacher. She would say, boy, awareness is not a noun. It is a quality. You can have awareness but can't be awareness. Now since I am not therefore something other than I or you has awareness. I and my existence is questionable but the existence of awareness is not. Close your eyes and you are aware of something. Touch something and you are aware. All sentient beings are aware. In fact if rocks had a mind they will report that they are aware, especially when the water torture that shapes its looks begins. Sodium ions in water are aware of chloride  how else would they find each other to make common salt. And salty air is aware of the car or h

To summarise what Clara said, all that we consider as is, was or will be is just a potential universe in the mind of shiva. My interpretation, laws of physics determine the entire outcome of evolution from energy to whatever will come and back. In that one point infinity, there is evolution of mind which ends up understanding some of these things. . Laws of physics are our attempt to understand nature and the universe as we know it through experience such as thinking, imagining, feeling and touching and hearing. It could be un-quantum but the observer, i.e this body mind is limited and hence the universe, the only one we know is limited. The incomprehensible reality is just incomprehensible. It is not the reality we find by our senses. A quantum theory could be a reflection of this incomprehensible reality but that's all it can be otherwise it wont be incomprehensible. In fact all comprehensible reality includes all but the incomprehensible reality. Are all outcomes suppo